"Divorce," the final blow to Greek Family

By Sonia Chaimanta

Thus, in the deafening declining of births, in the dramatic increase in abortions, in the spontaneous explosion of single-parent families, in the relentless onslaught of State with the imports of legislative know-how for cohabitation agreements and the general obsolescence of institutions caused by lifestyle and alleged sexual liberation, added a new parameter that was meant to give the final blow to the traditional Greek "knit" family, as developed and "flourished" the 50s, 60s and 70s. The evidence of EL.STAT show the truth: In Greece found that the number of the single parent families is 200,000. The divorces reached, the last 40 years, from 1/17 (one divorce every 17 marriages) in 1 divorce to 5 weddings with continuously increasing trend. Most common cause of divorce is infidelity or fraud. In the first case the meaning is religious (infidelity against the oath), in the second is secular, (cheating partner in relation to extramarital sex life). Technology has contributed in the explosion of divorces, since erotic messages exchanged between "illegal" lovers can easily reach the hands of the spouse (one in two divorces).

The economic crisis has contributed to the explosion of the phenomenon. However, some households are kept under the yoke of marriage "as they have no money to get a divorce" (pp a consensual divorce cost around 1,200 Euros in the better case, while single parents is deterrence perspective on the 'new poor' of the Memorandum). Respectively the crisis also works positively in the production of divorces since expectations for easy and comfortable life, (as some believe that is guaranteed by a 'good marriage'), collapse like a house of cards. "The crisis did not unite us, it broke us", sounds to say many women and men who were left unemployed.

Representatives of the Church, of academia and of research institutes now admit that the institution of marriage and family are a deep crisis, not only in Greece but also worldwide. Divorces are not related to demographic criteria or income scales.

Many are the causes of the marriage crisis

• General crisis of cultural values

The wishes expressed by the priest in the wedding ceremony are now "dead letter," the newlyweds often do not attend or they disdain, having a secular perspective on their relationship. The values of morality, virtue, justice and moderation are "old fashioned" qualities and outdated concepts, therefore cannot serve as "connective tissue" between the two spouses. Eudemonism, selfishness and consumption, in particular adherence to the pursuit of money are samples of this attitude to life, so the marriage to be perceived as just another gentleman's agreement, like the agreement with the employer, the deal with the bank to settle the loan, the IRS, the housekeeper, or child's school.

• Economic conditions

Family is not a productive unit anymore and each member is employed in a separate work thus gaining personal and financial independence. It is understood that the woman must not depend on the man, but the fact that she has emancipated should not lead anyone to easily abandon the yoke, as if marriage is a trade agreement.
The ideological obsolescence

The ideological challenge to the institutions of marriage and family constitutes a philosophical theory was introduced by the culture of the Nordic countries and the sexual liberation but mainly by the media and the lifestyle that bombed women and men with arguments like "marriage kills love" or "marriage cripples wife because it limits her in a routine, within the four walls, under the dependence of man and children and the limits on motherhood and reproductive slavery" (Simone de Beauvoir "The second sex"). Similar theories were developed before 50 years when Wilhelm Reich argued that "marriage creates an oppressive system in which power is dominant power. It has an authoritarian structure that extends to the authoritarian state. The civil societies are organized under the authoritarian family model."

The divorce as a passport to happiness is overpriced.

Many sociologists argue that the benefits of divorce have been exaggerated. The least happy members of society are divorced. Many marital problems are solved over the years, and married couples find that they can become happier. Indeed, a study by Linda J. Waite (professor of sociology at the University of Chicago) shows that nearly 8 in 10 people who were very unhappy in their marriage had a happy marriage after five years.

Thus, even when there are serious problems, couples should not rush to divorce.

According to a study published in the Economic Bulletin of the Bank of Greece, "the relocation of households in smaller dwellings is explained only partly by changes in household composition (increase in couples with fewer children, divorced, single-parent families), the remainder is attributable, according to the research, in economic reasons.
Church: "Divorce is epidemic"

According to Archimandrite Ioannikios Kotsonis (The Contemporary Crisis of marriage), "marriage and family are in the greatest crisis in its history."

He says: "The Greek family had a great tradition, was a blessing, was a model of family in the whole world. Since then, however, we adopted the outlandish customs, the antichrists' laws which rule the Modern Greek life, and the Greek family has accepted and accepts painful hits. The head of the Greek Parliament in the recent years confessed that: With the introduction of civil marriage and automatic divorce "we hurt ourselves." And first of all "our MPs, of which most are divorced. The basis and foundation for a successful family is the husbands, wives, couples united. We have the impression that divorces have increased so much that the Dissolved marriages exceed healthy and stable marriages. Wherever you go will hear about breakups. They separate children which were made with fierce and great love....

How many others separate after six months, after a year, after two years. The devil, who is the spirit of separation and division of the people, has managed to divide not only young and happy couples but also old aged couples. People with white hair. With older children. Serious people. You wonder, 'has society gone mad? Are the people insane?'.

The crisis of marriage and the increase in divorce, which in our time have taken the form of an epidemic, is not just a crisis that concerns and affects the couple. Is a global crisis that spreads its tentacles throughout society. Divorced. Children of divorced. Internal wounds, mental wounds over throughout the social body. So we have a sick, injured society, for which there is only one cure: Christ and the Church. Outside of Christ and the Church, marriage, the society and the whole world will remain uncured, half dead as the man "from Jerusalem to Jericho, the fallen at the robbers."

The young people and the cloudy future of the Family

According to the official data of the Ministry of Interior, "young people are not easily go to the next step and seem to prefer cohabitation agreement."

Experts and social activists have warned of an increase in the number of divorces in recent years and require numerous outreach programs for young couples, in order to become aware of the importance of protecting the family structure, which is the cornerstone of society on which we rely.

The activists called for intensification in counseling for married couples as well as supporting and organizing programs and activities in order to bring awareness for the reduction of divorces. The first half of 2014 only 18,806 couples got married, while last year the whole year took place 41,208 marriages again, were less than in previous years.
6 in 10 separate in their 50s!

The critical period for most weddings is when the couple reaches the age between 40 and 50, when comes the first midlife crisis: "What have I done in my life so far" and naturally follows "what I do from here". 66% of divorces take place in this age when most children have grown up and, at least theoretically, the couple can come closer again. Is it happening that way, though? Often, the absence of children from home is an important reason for the crisis of the marital relationship.

This may sound outdated, but it is not a coincidence that the marriages that took place in previous years, had more 'success'. Not of course because the woman was not working or because there was an economic dependence of the wife.

The reason is clearly visible. The woman and the man focused on creating a family with strong foundations that was mainly based on love, mutual understanding and mutual respect.

It is in our hand to keep the family together. With reciprocal concessions and as a main aim always the good of the family, we can walk the difficult path of life, leading our children in the way that we set ourselves.

Besides, no one said that the existence of a family is not a constant struggle.